Hali's Comet

Never Wanted This (a poem showing the inner depths of my mind)

2009-07-26T14:22:00.000-07:00

I never wanted to know
All these things that hurt me so
I trust those eyes so blue
Now I retreat, to clean my wounds
Can you tell me how we got this way?
It feels like it all happened in one monstrous day
One minute your arms are so safe and warm
The next they are the ones inflicting the harm!

Can you understand I never wanted this?
You threw the blows and I took the hits
Now I'm bloodied and bruised and wondering why
I just keep failing every time I try!

You stole my life, everything I'd worked to keep
Every single night you're what wakes my sleep
You laugh as I fall from the clouds
All the sudden I'm naked in front of a crowd
Everyone I know doesn't know me at all!
But, they'll surely always remember that fall.

Can you understand I never wanted this?
You threw the blows and I took the hits
Now I'm bloodied and bruised and wondering why
I just keep failing every time I try!

~Hali~

Epilogue- I wrote this awhile back....when i realized no one really knows the true me...my inner feelings/mind/thoughts. They may think they do...but they don't. I've never really been brave enough to let anyone in...cuz the last time that person couldn't stand it...that person doesn't talk to me anymore. *sigh* maybe someday I'll find someone that understands!! Someone that can really truly see the real me and accept it!!!

Excitement!

2009-07-25T12:21:00.000-07:00

So I'm so completely thrilled that my internship at New Hope has turned into more of a job. I can't believe that I can get paid for something that I LOVE!! it makes me sooo happy!
Here are a couple things I've learned:

1. A congregational worship song should be between Middle C and High C...that way everyone can sing it.

2. A worship set should ALWAYS have a theme! Being the worship leader you should ALWAYS go to the pastor and ask them what subject they are planning to speak on. Really know their heart and what they are trying to get across to the people and plan that in your set! I've learned sooo much about that. When I was doing the worship sets for youth group, Adam really taught me a lot about that.

3. Worship arts ministry is not just the music...it's also anything that has to do with arts. Like drama, visual (videos, backgrounds for the words of the songs, etc.).

4. Easy Worship backgrounds are SO important. If they are just right they add so much to the feeling of the song. To the feeling the people have and where the worship leader and pastor want the people to go on this spiritual journey.

5. You need to have a place in mind to take the people. This goes hand in hand with the worship set...but it's a little different. This can be molded with things like transitions from song to song. Like just the way you play something...like changing the key on the piano for example. Also simply finding a verse that enforces what you're trying to say. These things seem so...simple to us, yet they make a world of difference! Maybe you put in a special song and an occasional different person to sing it. Someone who can really relate to the song and portray it well! Adam has a really good set up and there are only a few things i would do different in my ministry.

6. Make it easier for the volunteer!!!!!! When someone wants to volunteer, they want to do what they are good at...not what it takes to get to what they're good at. Like if that person wants to teach sunday school. Maybe that person doesn't want to make the lesson plan. It's our place as a person in the ministry to make it easier by either making the lesson plan ourselves...or finding a curriculum with an easier set up! In worship arts ministry we don't do the children's ministry...but that was just an example.

7. When you're leading worship it's good to let the Spirit lead...but it's okay to have a plan or a script. It's a lot better to be confident and have a plan then to be stumbling for words and nervous trying to get out what God wants you to say. God can lead you in the plan you have just as well as He can lead you randomly on stage. I know this from experience. I'd rather have a plan! Adam can go up on stage and be completely random with God but...he has been doing it a lot longer. lol.

So, those are a few things I've learned. I'm learning so much and it's an amazing experience for me!! I'm thrilled that God opened this door for me...and I'm sure this is where God wants me in life.

~Hali~

ps- all time low's new album "Nothing Personal" is amazing. It has inspired ellie and i to create a new cd!! we're calling it Just Sayin' and we're working on it this next weekend with my new recording software! i'm thrilled to give it a try!

Random

2009-07-18T11:45:00.001-07:00

Dear people of the world (or anyone who reads this... ;) ),

I did not die!! lol. i'm very much alive. I just haven't had much to talk about. I have a few things today.

What I've been doing lately:

Interning. This is pretty much mostly what i've been doing. i love to do it! it makes me utterly and ridiculously happy.

Today:

Ellie is really bored today and has called me to release her poor anger against her boredom on my listening ear. it makes me feel very used. no jk. not really. i enjoy it.

Tomorrow:

New Hope Christian Center's Church Choir is going to Bluffton and Noble County Fair. We have to meet tomorrow morning at 7:30 am...we don't get back to the church until 9 pm. it's nuts and chaotic!!! but i love it. i love being busy and love singing...so it works for me.

Tuesday:

Going to the Steuben County Fair. Hopefully hanging out with Greg and my family in the beginning...then later we have a choir show. i'm sooo excited.

Future:

I will try my best to post more. not that i have a million fans or anything lol.

ttyl people!

Hali

Blogging.....because I can!

2009-04-13T16:49:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm really neglecting this blog. But I feel like a blog is where you put your very important thoughts...and really, i haven't had that many important thoughts lately. lol. But maybe, as I'm rambling I'll come up with something.

Music- you know you have the perfect music player, when you can put it on shuffle and you never really want to change the song because you like them all. Most people don't have time to really work on their music players...so they just leave the old stuff they don't like anymore on. (me) lol. But today I took off a bunch of old stuff that i'm annoyed at and wow!!! it's amazing! I can put it on shuffle and only my favorite songs come up. It's really nice. so anyways, if you haven't dumped your music player in a long time....you should. lol. Just a little hint from Hali. or something ;)

Sleep- sleep is good. You really should get some. And even if you really like a guy and want to talk to him until 1:30 in the morning....it's not a good idea because there will be several people (your family) who will hate you for it later. ;) So really tell him you'll talk to him another time and go to bed. I mean once in awhile it's ok...but not every night. trust me. ;)

Understanding- when someone tells you something...try to understand. don't just sympathize, like "i'm so sorry that happened to you" really truly try to understand where they're coming from. Just listen to them talk and love them no matter what. No judging...no nothing. They are probably in a lot of pain and just want someone to talk to about it.

Alright, enough for one night!

Hali

God in Relationships

2009-03-24T13:20:00.000-07:00

So, I told you I would do this to you, my friends.
Alright I have made a key point outline so that you can keep up.

I. Relationships In General
1. I don't know much about relationships. I've never had a boyfriend and not many boys have liked me in my life. But from what I have seen...I think most go way too fast. For example, I have a cousin...(his name has been changed in order to keep his anonymity(sp?)) let's call him Joe, who, in every relationship he's ever had, has consulted me about it. I always approve or dissapprove of the girl and then he either has or doesn't have a relationship with this girl. But in his relationships he has a standard chronological list of when to do what. here is the list: (this is basic school week chronology)

a. holding hands (pretty much the first day)
b. lacing fingers while holding hands (4th day)
c. arms around each other (2nd week-1st day depending on how much he likes the girl)
d. kiss girl on cheek (2nd day of 2nd week)
e. kiss girl mouth (3rd day of 2nd week)
f. !!!!I don't know if you know me that well....but i'm just gonna be blunt!!!!! sex (mid 2nd week)
g. if he's sick of the girl he dumps her (end of 2nd week) if he likes the girl they stay together until he gets sick of her.

now....this is not my idea of a relationship at all. when i look at that list i almost feel sick. Sick!

now i have a really really good friend Jordan Covely...and he would be just fine with you knowing his name. and this is his relationship:

a. getting to know the girl (quite awhile)
b. dating girl
c. holding hands (3 months)

and so far that's all. They have been dating for 6 months now. i'm really really proud of Jordan. I am learning from his relationships.

II. Jesus
1. Jesus is the Son of God. He died so you can live. lalalala. you know this already. Jesus is amazing....'nuff said.
2. Jesus should always be in your relationship. ALWAYS. WITH ANY PERSON! whether they're just a friend, a family member, etc.

III. Jesus In Your Relationship
1. I will say, Jesus is the only way your relationship can go well. (so many points to cover!!!)
2. So many people get into relationships and think that they will last forever. Well....a relationship can last forever. It's possible. But the only way it can is with God. there are VERY few exceptions. and these arent' even real exceptions because those people aren't going to go live their eternal lives together.
3. Let God guide your relationship. God will tell you where to go with it. He will put the correct person in your life. He made you! He knows exactly what you need. He knows the desires of your heart! He loves you and wants you to be happy. and if you are in the center of God's will then you will never have to worry for anything.

So....in conclusion...don't have a relationship without God in it. There will always be honesty, trust, respect, and love in a relationship with God.

of course what do I know....i'm just a teenage girl who knows nothing about relationships.

Hali

ps- Switchfoot rocks!

Long Car Ride Induced Blog

2009-03-14T14:05:00.000-07:00

so i have enjoyed thinking that maybe i got a 1st at BSU voice competition. well, a couple hours after i left for Florida from BSU, Ellie called me and said that I had been selected to sing at the recital that they have after the contest every year. The song i was selected to sing again was my choice song, When Love Is Kind. I had been VERY expressive on that song. I really hope that I got a 1st. But even if i didn't I did my best and when i sing i give all the glory to God because He's the one who gave me this gift. I want to use it to honor Him.
the play i went and saw last night was pretty much amazing. It was called Murder's In The Heir. I would encourage all of you readers to go see it at it's 3rd and final showing on Sunday at 2 pm. The plot will leave you in suspense and you won't suspect the ending at all!
I am officially carsick. *yuck*
My mp3 player is about dead....so i'm kind of trying to spare it. ;) I mean later I'm gonna want it more than now.
My dad is an amazing driver. Not gonna lie. I just saw an amazing 'Stang. someday I'm gonna have a mustang. a Mach 1 from like '71 or something. (one of my best friends Jordan Covely is to blame for me knowing so much about car titles and the importance of the year. ;)

I will now leave you with this thought and maybe the starting to my next blog. How can a relationship/marriage be forever and healthy without God in it. Tune in next week when I tear the inner workings of marriages/relationships in to bits with my critical mind. (ok that was for Adam. hahaha.) but seriously...that might be my next blog. which would be a lot better than this one. hahahahahahahahaha.

love you all!

Life

2009-03-13T20:02:00.000-07:00

So...life just keeps getting harder and harder to understand. Ok here's my advice....if you don't want to hear it then don't read it. but here it is: Don't hold hands with a guy when you already like/are special friends with another guy. It doesn't make your life any easier. This is not my experience, but a good friends. I watch all these guys adore her...and am even afraid to bring her around a guy i like because she's so beautiful and popular with the guys. She could have any guy in the world...and she chooses to use her power for evil. okay...that's taking it a little too far. All i can say is I'm praying for her. And to all of you.....DON'T DO IT!!!

ps- listen to paramore. they are amazing!!!!

To Write Love On Her Arms

2009-03-03T16:15:00.000-08:00

So today while I was shopping with Ashlen Covely, I bought a TWLOHA shirt. I got to thinking about how important this organization is. This organization gives money to people like several of my friends that cut or have suicidal thoughts so that they can get help. I encourage anyone who reads this blog to go and get one. They are really pretty and fun t-shirts and they are giving money to a great cause. I mean how many of your friends have had problems like that? I mean I know a lot of my friends have. So anyways, this could be going to help your friends!!!

Thanks for reading and hopefully helping out this organization!!

LOVE!!!

Interning

2009-02-16T13:02:00.000-08:00

So I enjoy interning greatly! I love feeling like I'm doing a little something that impacts the way the rest of the church is run. Yes I am a dork...but I think it's amazing. Not to mention I get to play piano a lot. The funny thing is Adam does soooo much and I didn't even realize it! And I know I'm only getting a little taste of it. I've been editing videos, recording songs, helping choose video clips to use in the service, transposing music, making it easier for the volunteers (yes that is a task). One of the keys to helping people serve is making it easier for them to serve. If it's easier it won't be a pain. I have seen this in my mom's volunteering. Sometimes she wishes things were easier so that she could serve more joyfully. And really it makes a whole lot of sense.
It has been so great learning the art to making a great setlist. Theme, Songs, Format, Keys, Transitions! So much is involved that i never knew about and I've been making setlists since a year ago!
Also, Communication skills. A really useful thing that Adam taught me about is communicating effectively! So many times anger, disagreements, and things not getting done right is caused by miscommunication! And did you realize something like the pastor wearing a jacket and tie and a pastor not wearing a jacket and tie can effect the way you view him and accept his message? And the way a stage is set up can effect how you view the whole church?! IT IS CRAZY! But I am learning.
I love this sooo much and I thank God that He opened this wonderful door for me!

Listening and Acceptance (aka The Ramblings of a Teenage Girl)

2009-02-09T12:50:00.001-08:00

I wrote this this morning in my Daily Life Journal inspired by a long talk I had with Ashlen Covely and Ellie Shortridge (aka Alice). I got to thinking about it...and this makes soooo much sense!! Now...take a look into Hali's mind....if you aren't scared.......*winks*

Sometimes I feel like it's so hard to listen. I just want my life to be in a planner given to me by God at birth. "This is your life...go live it the way I planned". But unfortunately to get closer to God humans have to go through trials. We also need to go through these to prepare us for our lives.
But it's hard to hear what God is saying sometimes over the lies of the world.
"You have to have a boyfriend"
"You have to be as skinny as this model or else you're fat"
blah blah blahty blah

Our society is corrupt. To be accepted in this society we must be sinful. I mean it's weird for people my age to hear that I'm a virgin. They think "She's not normal." It's weird for someone not to have lived with their boyfriend/girlfriend before being married. Sometimes it's hard not to conform because humans long for acceptance. It's just in us. But sometimes we don't realize that in God's eyes we're always accepted. Accepted exactly as we are. Ugly, filthy, sinful creatures. He looks at us and thinks we are beautiful. This is something that has just amazed me! We are so disgusting and unworthy and He still loves us! With a burning, everlasting love. It's crazy! But God's a crazy God. He has done things we can never imagine!
I believe as long as we can see our worth as not being judged by, "this guy who likes me" or "these friends who accept me" but by God...we will feel acceptence and hear what He has to say! What He has to say is much more important than anything else. If really listen...we will hear.

But I guess the real question is... who/what judges your worth? Is it something worldly or is it God. It's HARD!!! It REALLY is to let God judge your worth! Sometimes we forget about him. I mean there are days when I just want a guy to like me. I would feel pretty and loved.........

But think about that...! Who really judges my worth? God!!! I was so beautiful and loved that God sent His ONLY son to die in my place!!! I was to die for!!! Jesus loved me sooo much that He gave His live so I could keep mine! I must be pretty special if Jesus though I was worth dying for! Like I said our society makes this okay! They make us think we can only be accepted if the world accepts us. We just have to remember we are accepted no matter what!!
I think once we truly feel accepted we will be ready to hear God. And if we're really truly listening....we will!!

Friends

2009-01-27T17:34:00.000-08:00

I must say that out of all the people in the world...I wouldn't trade my friends for any of them. We have the most hilarious inside jokes, we are close, we can be serious, we are amazing.
I will first talk about losing friends:
I have lost and gained many friends over my 16 1/2 years of life and what i've learned is that friends come and go...you just have to enjoy the time you have with them! Some friends you are happy to see go and some you are hysterical over seeing them go. But they were still a little piece of your puzzle/life. (yeah i'm not good with metaphors)
Keeping friends:
This is an art only mastered by the strong willed, soft hearted, beautiful people. My friends all have one of the three or more.
Making friends:

Yes I left that blank on purpose. There is no right or wrong way to make friends and i don't want to sway you're opinion or make you think mine is right.

So anyways that is my views on friends. Love you all!!!

All Time Low and Ellie

2009-01-25T10:45:00.000-08:00

Yes, I did mention them earlier...but they are amazing! All Time Low are not a Christian band I will warn you. But their songs are well written, they have a great live show, they answer fan questions, and they are pretty much amazing. Listen to Poppin' (Champagne) or Six Feet Under The Stars if you are looking for a great experience!

Ellie is cleaning her room today. It is an epic mess and she is finally noticing for herself. She is folding clothes and picking up trash that she hasn't in months. GO ELLIE! She asked me if I would help her hang up clothes but I said no...and used the excuse "I don't have a drivers license". Poor girl.

(btw, I'm really enjoying this picture of Ellie.)

LOVE!

Starting a Blog

2009-01-24T20:20:00.001-08:00

So starting a blog wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I've always wanted to have one because I love to scrapbook and I love to write journals. So now I've got one and I'm pretty thrilled and stinkin' excited! So anyways it's late and I'll probably write more tomorrow!

ps- All Time Low rocks...check them out!