I never wanted to know
All these things that hurt me so
I trust those eyes so blue
Now I retreat, to clean my wounds
Can you tell me how we got this way?
It feels like it all happened in one monstrous day
One minute your arms are so safe and warm
The next they are the ones inflicting the harm!
Can you understand I never wanted this?
You threw the blows and I took the hits
Now I'm bloodied and bruised and wondering why
I just keep failing every time I try!
You stole my life, everything I'd worked to keep
Every single night you're what wakes my sleep
You laugh as I fall from the clouds
All the sudden I'm naked in front of a crowd
Everyone I know doesn't know me at all!
But, they'll surely always remember that fall.
Can you understand I never wanted this?
You threw the blows and I took the hits
Now I'm bloodied and bruised and wondering why
I just keep failing every time I try!
~Hali~
Epilogue- I wrote this awhile back....when i realized no one really knows the true me...my inner feelings/mind/thoughts. They may think they do...but they don't. I've never really been brave enough to let anyone in...cuz the last time that person couldn't stand it...that person doesn't talk to me anymore. *sigh* maybe someday I'll find someone that understands!! Someone that can really truly see the real me and accept it!!!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Excitement!
So I'm so completely thrilled that my internship at New Hope has turned into more of a job. I can't believe that I can get paid for something that I LOVE!! it makes me sooo happy!
Here are a couple things I've learned:
1. A congregational worship song should be between Middle C and High C...that way everyone can sing it.
2. A worship set should ALWAYS have a theme! Being the worship leader you should ALWAYS go to the pastor and ask them what subject they are planning to speak on. Really know their heart and what they are trying to get across to the people and plan that in your set! I've learned sooo much about that. When I was doing the worship sets for youth group, Adam really taught me a lot about that.
3. Worship arts ministry is not just the music...it's also anything that has to do with arts. Like drama, visual (videos, backgrounds for the words of the songs, etc.).
4. Easy Worship backgrounds are SO important. If they are just right they add so much to the feeling of the song. To the feeling the people have and where the worship leader and pastor want the people to go on this spiritual journey.
5. You need to have a place in mind to take the people. This goes hand in hand with the worship set...but it's a little different. This can be molded with things like transitions from song to song. Like just the way you play something...like changing the key on the piano for example. Also simply finding a verse that enforces what you're trying to say. These things seem so...simple to us, yet they make a world of difference! Maybe you put in a special song and an occasional different person to sing it. Someone who can really relate to the song and portray it well! Adam has a really good set up and there are only a few things i would do different in my ministry.
6. Make it easier for the volunteer!!!!!! When someone wants to volunteer, they want to do what they are good at...not what it takes to get to what they're good at. Like if that person wants to teach sunday school. Maybe that person doesn't want to make the lesson plan. It's our place as a person in the ministry to make it easier by either making the lesson plan ourselves...or finding a curriculum with an easier set up! In worship arts ministry we don't do the children's ministry...but that was just an example.
7. When you're leading worship it's good to let the Spirit lead...but it's okay to have a plan or a script. It's a lot better to be confident and have a plan then to be stumbling for words and nervous trying to get out what God wants you to say. God can lead you in the plan you have just as well as He can lead you randomly on stage. I know this from experience. I'd rather have a plan! Adam can go up on stage and be completely random with God but...he has been doing it a lot longer. lol.
So, those are a few things I've learned. I'm learning so much and it's an amazing experience for me!! I'm thrilled that God opened this door for me...and I'm sure this is where God wants me in life.
~Hali~
ps- all time low's new album "Nothing Personal" is amazing. It has inspired ellie and i to create a new cd!! we're calling it Just Sayin' and we're working on it this next weekend with my new recording software! i'm thrilled to give it a try!
Here are a couple things I've learned:
1. A congregational worship song should be between Middle C and High C...that way everyone can sing it.
2. A worship set should ALWAYS have a theme! Being the worship leader you should ALWAYS go to the pastor and ask them what subject they are planning to speak on. Really know their heart and what they are trying to get across to the people and plan that in your set! I've learned sooo much about that. When I was doing the worship sets for youth group, Adam really taught me a lot about that.
3. Worship arts ministry is not just the music...it's also anything that has to do with arts. Like drama, visual (videos, backgrounds for the words of the songs, etc.).
4. Easy Worship backgrounds are SO important. If they are just right they add so much to the feeling of the song. To the feeling the people have and where the worship leader and pastor want the people to go on this spiritual journey.
5. You need to have a place in mind to take the people. This goes hand in hand with the worship set...but it's a little different. This can be molded with things like transitions from song to song. Like just the way you play something...like changing the key on the piano for example. Also simply finding a verse that enforces what you're trying to say. These things seem so...simple to us, yet they make a world of difference! Maybe you put in a special song and an occasional different person to sing it. Someone who can really relate to the song and portray it well! Adam has a really good set up and there are only a few things i would do different in my ministry.
6. Make it easier for the volunteer!!!!!! When someone wants to volunteer, they want to do what they are good at...not what it takes to get to what they're good at. Like if that person wants to teach sunday school. Maybe that person doesn't want to make the lesson plan. It's our place as a person in the ministry to make it easier by either making the lesson plan ourselves...or finding a curriculum with an easier set up! In worship arts ministry we don't do the children's ministry...but that was just an example.
7. When you're leading worship it's good to let the Spirit lead...but it's okay to have a plan or a script. It's a lot better to be confident and have a plan then to be stumbling for words and nervous trying to get out what God wants you to say. God can lead you in the plan you have just as well as He can lead you randomly on stage. I know this from experience. I'd rather have a plan! Adam can go up on stage and be completely random with God but...he has been doing it a lot longer. lol.
So, those are a few things I've learned. I'm learning so much and it's an amazing experience for me!! I'm thrilled that God opened this door for me...and I'm sure this is where God wants me in life.
~Hali~
ps- all time low's new album "Nothing Personal" is amazing. It has inspired ellie and i to create a new cd!! we're calling it Just Sayin' and we're working on it this next weekend with my new recording software! i'm thrilled to give it a try!
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Random
Dear people of the world (or anyone who reads this... ;) ),
I did not die!! lol. i'm very much alive. I just haven't had much to talk about. I have a few things today.
What I've been doing lately:
Interning. This is pretty much mostly what i've been doing. i love to do it! it makes me utterly and ridiculously happy.
Today:
Ellie is really bored today and has called me to release her poor anger against her boredom on my listening ear. it makes me feel very used. no jk. not really. i enjoy it.
Tomorrow:
New Hope Christian Center's Church Choir is going to Bluffton and Noble County Fair. We have to meet tomorrow morning at 7:30 am...we don't get back to the church until 9 pm. it's nuts and chaotic!!! but i love it. i love being busy and love singing...so it works for me.
Tuesday:
Going to the Steuben County Fair. Hopefully hanging out with Greg and my family in the beginning...then later we have a choir show. i'm sooo excited.
Future:
I will try my best to post more. not that i have a million fans or anything lol.
ttyl people!
Hali
Monday, April 13, 2009
Blogging.....because I can!
Well, I'm really neglecting this blog. But I feel like a blog is where you put your very important thoughts...and really, i haven't had that many important thoughts lately. lol. But maybe, as I'm rambling I'll come up with something.
Music- you know you have the perfect music player, when you can put it on shuffle and you never really want to change the song because you like them all. Most people don't have time to really work on their music players...so they just leave the old stuff they don't like anymore on. (me) lol. But today I took off a bunch of old stuff that i'm annoyed at and wow!!! it's amazing! I can put it on shuffle and only my favorite songs come up. It's really nice. so anyways, if you haven't dumped your music player in a long time....you should. lol. Just a little hint from Hali. or something ;)
Sleep- sleep is good. You really should get some. And even if you really like a guy and want to talk to him until 1:30 in the morning....it's not a good idea because there will be several people (your family) who will hate you for it later. ;) So really tell him you'll talk to him another time and go to bed. I mean once in awhile it's ok...but not every night. trust me. ;)
Understanding- when someone tells you something...try to understand. don't just sympathize, like "i'm so sorry that happened to you" really truly try to understand where they're coming from. Just listen to them talk and love them no matter what. No judging...no nothing. They are probably in a lot of pain and just want someone to talk to about it.
Alright, enough for one night!
Hali
Music- you know you have the perfect music player, when you can put it on shuffle and you never really want to change the song because you like them all. Most people don't have time to really work on their music players...so they just leave the old stuff they don't like anymore on. (me) lol. But today I took off a bunch of old stuff that i'm annoyed at and wow!!! it's amazing! I can put it on shuffle and only my favorite songs come up. It's really nice. so anyways, if you haven't dumped your music player in a long time....you should. lol. Just a little hint from Hali. or something ;)
Sleep- sleep is good. You really should get some. And even if you really like a guy and want to talk to him until 1:30 in the morning....it's not a good idea because there will be several people (your family) who will hate you for it later. ;) So really tell him you'll talk to him another time and go to bed. I mean once in awhile it's ok...but not every night. trust me. ;)
Understanding- when someone tells you something...try to understand. don't just sympathize, like "i'm so sorry that happened to you" really truly try to understand where they're coming from. Just listen to them talk and love them no matter what. No judging...no nothing. They are probably in a lot of pain and just want someone to talk to about it.
Alright, enough for one night!
Hali
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
God in Relationships
So, I told you I would do this to you, my friends.
Alright I have made a key point outline so that you can keep up.
I. Relationships In General
1. I don't know much about relationships. I've never had a boyfriend and not many boys have liked me in my life. But from what I have seen...I think most go way too fast. For example, I have a cousin...(his name has been changed in order to keep his anonymity(sp?)) let's call him Joe, who, in every relationship he's ever had, has consulted me about it. I always approve or dissapprove of the girl and then he either has or doesn't have a relationship with this girl. But in his relationships he has a standard chronological list of when to do what. here is the list: (this is basic school week chronology)
a. holding hands (pretty much the first day)
b. lacing fingers while holding hands (4th day)
c. arms around each other (2nd week-1st day depending on how much he likes the girl)
d. kiss girl on cheek (2nd day of 2nd week)
e. kiss girl mouth (3rd day of 2nd week)
f. !!!!I don't know if you know me that well....but i'm just gonna be blunt!!!!! sex (mid 2nd week)
g. if he's sick of the girl he dumps her (end of 2nd week) if he likes the girl they stay together until he gets sick of her.
now....this is not my idea of a relationship at all. when i look at that list i almost feel sick. Sick!
now i have a really really good friend Jordan Covely...and he would be just fine with you knowing his name. and this is his relationship:
a. getting to know the girl (quite awhile)
b. dating girl
c. holding hands (3 months)
and so far that's all. They have been dating for 6 months now. i'm really really proud of Jordan. I am learning from his relationships.
II. Jesus
1. Jesus is the Son of God. He died so you can live. lalalala. you know this already. Jesus is amazing....'nuff said.
2. Jesus should always be in your relationship. ALWAYS. WITH ANY PERSON! whether they're just a friend, a family member, etc.
III. Jesus In Your Relationship
1. I will say, Jesus is the only way your relationship can go well. (so many points to cover!!!)
2. So many people get into relationships and think that they will last forever. Well....a relationship can last forever. It's possible. But the only way it can is with God. there are VERY few exceptions. and these arent' even real exceptions because those people aren't going to go live their eternal lives together.
3. Let God guide your relationship. God will tell you where to go with it. He will put the correct person in your life. He made you! He knows exactly what you need. He knows the desires of your heart! He loves you and wants you to be happy. and if you are in the center of God's will then you will never have to worry for anything.
So....in conclusion...don't have a relationship without God in it. There will always be honesty, trust, respect, and love in a relationship with God.
of course what do I know....i'm just a teenage girl who knows nothing about relationships.
Hali
ps- Switchfoot rocks!
Alright I have made a key point outline so that you can keep up.
I. Relationships In General
1. I don't know much about relationships. I've never had a boyfriend and not many boys have liked me in my life. But from what I have seen...I think most go way too fast. For example, I have a cousin...(his name has been changed in order to keep his anonymity(sp?)) let's call him Joe, who, in every relationship he's ever had, has consulted me about it. I always approve or dissapprove of the girl and then he either has or doesn't have a relationship with this girl. But in his relationships he has a standard chronological list of when to do what. here is the list: (this is basic school week chronology)
a. holding hands (pretty much the first day)
b. lacing fingers while holding hands (4th day)
c. arms around each other (2nd week-1st day depending on how much he likes the girl)
d. kiss girl on cheek (2nd day of 2nd week)
e. kiss girl mouth (3rd day of 2nd week)
f. !!!!I don't know if you know me that well....but i'm just gonna be blunt!!!!! sex (mid 2nd week)
g. if he's sick of the girl he dumps her (end of 2nd week) if he likes the girl they stay together until he gets sick of her.
now....this is not my idea of a relationship at all. when i look at that list i almost feel sick. Sick!
now i have a really really good friend Jordan Covely...and he would be just fine with you knowing his name. and this is his relationship:
a. getting to know the girl (quite awhile)
b. dating girl
c. holding hands (3 months)
and so far that's all. They have been dating for 6 months now. i'm really really proud of Jordan. I am learning from his relationships.
II. Jesus
1. Jesus is the Son of God. He died so you can live. lalalala. you know this already. Jesus is amazing....'nuff said.
2. Jesus should always be in your relationship. ALWAYS. WITH ANY PERSON! whether they're just a friend, a family member, etc.
III. Jesus In Your Relationship
1. I will say, Jesus is the only way your relationship can go well. (so many points to cover!!!)
2. So many people get into relationships and think that they will last forever. Well....a relationship can last forever. It's possible. But the only way it can is with God. there are VERY few exceptions. and these arent' even real exceptions because those people aren't going to go live their eternal lives together.
3. Let God guide your relationship. God will tell you where to go with it. He will put the correct person in your life. He made you! He knows exactly what you need. He knows the desires of your heart! He loves you and wants you to be happy. and if you are in the center of God's will then you will never have to worry for anything.
So....in conclusion...don't have a relationship without God in it. There will always be honesty, trust, respect, and love in a relationship with God.
of course what do I know....i'm just a teenage girl who knows nothing about relationships.
Hali
ps- Switchfoot rocks!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Long Car Ride Induced Blog
so i have enjoyed thinking that maybe i got a 1st at BSU voice competition. well, a couple hours after i left for Florida from BSU, Ellie called me and said that I had been selected to sing at the recital that they have after the contest every year. The song i was selected to sing again was my choice song, When Love Is Kind. I had been VERY expressive on that song. I really hope that I got a 1st. But even if i didn't I did my best and when i sing i give all the glory to God because He's the one who gave me this gift. I want to use it to honor Him.
the play i went and saw last night was pretty much amazing. It was called Murder's In The Heir. I would encourage all of you readers to go see it at it's 3rd and final showing on Sunday at 2 pm. The plot will leave you in suspense and you won't suspect the ending at all!
I am officially carsick. *yuck*
My mp3 player is about dead....so i'm kind of trying to spare it. ;) I mean later I'm gonna want it more than now.
My dad is an amazing driver. Not gonna lie. I just saw an amazing 'Stang. someday I'm gonna have a mustang. a Mach 1 from like '71 or something. (one of my best friends Jordan Covely is to blame for me knowing so much about car titles and the importance of the year. ;)
I will now leave you with this thought and maybe the starting to my next blog. How can a relationship/marriage be forever and healthy without God in it. Tune in next week when I tear the inner workings of marriages/relationships in to bits with my critical mind. (ok that was for Adam. hahaha.) but seriously...that might be my next blog. which would be a lot better than this one. hahahahahahahahaha.
love you all!
the play i went and saw last night was pretty much amazing. It was called Murder's In The Heir. I would encourage all of you readers to go see it at it's 3rd and final showing on Sunday at 2 pm. The plot will leave you in suspense and you won't suspect the ending at all!
I am officially carsick. *yuck*
My mp3 player is about dead....so i'm kind of trying to spare it. ;) I mean later I'm gonna want it more than now.
My dad is an amazing driver. Not gonna lie. I just saw an amazing 'Stang. someday I'm gonna have a mustang. a Mach 1 from like '71 or something. (one of my best friends Jordan Covely is to blame for me knowing so much about car titles and the importance of the year. ;)
I will now leave you with this thought and maybe the starting to my next blog. How can a relationship/marriage be forever and healthy without God in it. Tune in next week when I tear the inner workings of marriages/relationships in to bits with my critical mind. (ok that was for Adam. hahaha.) but seriously...that might be my next blog. which would be a lot better than this one. hahahahahahahahaha.
love you all!
Friday, March 13, 2009
Life
So...life just keeps getting harder and harder to understand. Ok here's my advice....if you don't want to hear it then don't read it. but here it is: Don't hold hands with a guy when you already like/are special friends with another guy. It doesn't make your life any easier. This is not my experience, but a good friends. I watch all these guys adore her...and am even afraid to bring her around a guy i like because she's so beautiful and popular with the guys. She could have any guy in the world...and she chooses to use her power for evil. okay...that's taking it a little too far. All i can say is I'm praying for her. And to all of you.....DON'T DO IT!!!
ps- listen to paramore. they are amazing!!!!
ps- listen to paramore. they are amazing!!!!
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